Gotta find something to do with my free time...

OK, I have too much time on my hands and as I've been told for years now, I read too much into things.  I really need to stop.  It's just so hard to figure out how somebody meant something over text.  Thankfully, our little mix up was cleared up in a phone conversation, but it's just stressful.  I like this guy and want to see where it will go and the walls I have built up around me include a whole lot of cynicism and negative outlooks and I need to change that.  I am frustrated with myself.  I need to start curbing what I say and just enjoy each moment.  Anyway, we seem to be ok now.  Guess I just need to stop worrying and just enjoy.  No expectations... other than honesty.  OK, I'm done now...

I hope this afternoon goes by quickly...I'm so tired of being bored at work.  I really want to be a guidance counselor...after all, that's why I went to school to get my degree and get certified, but it just seems like it's getting harder and harder to make that happen.... ugh.  Another thing I can't dwell on... I'll just keep working on my music. I picked up my guitar last night and started working on a song I had written a while ago but never had the music to.  It's in the VERY rough stages of coming together, but it has potential. I just have to work on the timing of the verses and chorus a little more...

Here's hoping my day turns around.  :)  Thinking positive always helps...so here I go. :)

Fun and Excitement

Well, as we speak, my best friend in the entire world is giving birth to her first son.  :)  I am sad because I can't be there but happy because we all get to meet the little guy.  :)  Soooo excited. 

As a side note...I got a text from the "old" guy I went on a date with about a month ago.  He was the 43 year old restaurant/bar owner I went out with when I was dating the disappearing man.  I had fun with him but all I could think of was how old he looked...lol.  So bad, but true.  He texted a few times and I responded but nothing elaborate.  I got a text today that said, "Hey, it's M.  How have u been. I was hoping I would have seen u again but never heard back from you."  I feel bad, but at the same time, he's coming across as a little desperate.  I am going to text him back that I am seeing someone and want to give it a chance... like I said, he was a nice guy...just not the one for me.  Figures, right?  He actually has the financial means to whisk me away at the drop of a hat and I don't want to just be with a guy for the perks.  There are definitely days I wish I could be that woman, but the reality is I'm not. 

My buddy and I talked about that last night.  He wants to be a player, but just doesn't have it in him... another friend of mine says the same thing.  Isn't it funny how in your head you can do it, but when the opportunity presents itself, people with a conscience just can't bring themselves to be someone they're not?

Moving on...

And so it's time to start looking again... some of my friends, one in particular, tells me to stop because he doesn't want to see me hurt anymore... but as I say to him, what would life be without love?  With love comes the chance I might experience heartache.  However, the love I experience fills my soul with something I can't explain and it helps remind me the world is good and that someday I will know true love again. 

My cousin told me about a dating site for single parents.  It's where she met her husband, so I figured what the heck.  I'm done with match.com for a while.  Plenty of fish is ok, but not great.  So, I joined.  We'll see what comes of it.