Eh

Feeling a little down today... haven't felt this way in a looooong time...probably since last winter.  Just had that sinking feeling in my stomach like my world was going to fall apart.  Just wanted to cry.  Whatever, guess I just need to suck it up and remind myself that God won't let anything bad happen to me.  I am stressed about finding an apartment too.  I feel like my realtor is dragging his feet... time to do some work on my own - again and call some other realtors.  I have no loyalty.  Not like the guy is going to cut me a break on his fee anyway.  I just REALLY need to have a place ASAP.  And I'm worried about whether or not I'm going to be able to afford a place since my ex will be paying me child support 2x month - on the 1st and the 15th instead of all at once.  The child support is my rent... ugh... I just have to have faith that it will all work out.  I just don't like not knowing...I'm a planner.  I can do fun stuff on the spur of the moment but when it comes to taking care of me or especially my kids, I want to have a plan and the fact that I have NO idea where I am moving them to in 2 1/2 weeks is scaring the CRAP out of me!!!!  I can't help but feel like my soon to be ex-in-laws don't really care whether I have a place or not and they want me out - ASAP.  Sux.

Random Vent

Today's vent is about my mother and how she continues to try and run my life and tell me what I am going to do and how I'm going to raise my daughter.  I am a 34 year old woman, with a job and 3 children.  I might not always do the right thing, but I love my children and I've done a pretty good job on my own so far.  If I move too far away from the school district we live in now, she will be going to a different HS and that's not a bad thing.  This is freaking ridiculous!!! My mother has my daughter thinking there is no other high school than this one and she needs to be with the same friends.  MY daughter is an outgoing individual and makes friends VERY easily.  It would not be a big deal for us to move to a diff. district.  ARGH!!! So frustrating.  To top it off, trying to find an apartment I can keep my pets in is proving to be difficult.  But, I'm not giving up.  I looked at one today in a neighboring town... it has potential but it's a bit small.  Looking at one tomorrow that is closer...we'll see.  Should be interesting.  It's moments like this that I wish I had someone who would be coming home to me later today and give me a hug and tell me everything will be alright and we'll figure it out together...alas, I am on my own.  Something I have gotten used to... I'll figure it out.  I always do.  :)

Been a while...

So, I dated a guy for a few months but he was DEFINITELY the wrong one for me... too possessive and jealous over my guy friends - and there was no reason to be...  I was miserable when I was with, so time to move on. 

 While all of this is going on... my divorce is finally moving forward since I have to move out of my ex-in-laws house by the end of this month after my daughter graduates middle school.  We finally have a preliminary number for child support and I am hard core hunting for a 3BR apartment that accepts pets... not easy around here.  I am actually going to call a place on a local one I found online.  Wish me luck!!