Eh

Feeling a little down today... haven't felt this way in a looooong time...probably since last winter.  Just had that sinking feeling in my stomach like my world was going to fall apart.  Just wanted to cry.  Whatever, guess I just need to suck it up and remind myself that God won't let anything bad happen to me.  I am stressed about finding an apartment too.  I feel like my realtor is dragging his feet... time to do some work on my own - again and call some other realtors.  I have no loyalty.  Not like the guy is going to cut me a break on his fee anyway.  I just REALLY need to have a place ASAP.  And I'm worried about whether or not I'm going to be able to afford a place since my ex will be paying me child support 2x month - on the 1st and the 15th instead of all at once.  The child support is my rent... ugh... I just have to have faith that it will all work out.  I just don't like not knowing...I'm a planner.  I can do fun stuff on the spur of the moment but when it comes to taking care of me or especially my kids, I want to have a plan and the fact that I have NO idea where I am moving them to in 2 1/2 weeks is scaring the CRAP out of me!!!!  I can't help but feel like my soon to be ex-in-laws don't really care whether I have a place or not and they want me out - ASAP.  Sux.