Last night was one of those moments you learn to appreciate life and respect that we are not in control of how long we are on this earth, so you better make the most of it while you can. My boyfriend received a call last night that a friend's son was killed in a motorcycle crash. He was 21, barely beginning to live his life. My prayers go out to the family and friends of this young man. It really caused me to stop and think about not only my own mortality, but how I would survive if I had received a call like that about one of my own children. I shudder to think, to even put it out in the universe (as my ex would say), but with a daughter who is about to turn 16 in 10 days and start driving, it is a very real fear.
I can instill as much fear about driving fast and accidents and death that I want into her. At the end of the day, it comes down to the decision she makes, whether that's getting in a car with someone else who is driving too fast, or worse, impaired due to alcohol or drugs. I pray I've taught her enough to know she can say no to getting in the car and call me, but as a parent, I want to protect my children. I want them to live in the bubble of safety I've created for them, but the reality is, at some point, they are going to grow up and make decisions that will impact their lives and their futures.
How do you comfort someone who is dealing with the loss of a child. My grandmother has lost not only her husband, but both her son and daughter-in-law. She clings to my mother now and says she can't go through the pain of losing another child. If I were in this mother's shoes, I don't know what I'd do. People tell me I'm strong, that I can carry the burdens of so many and still keep pushing forward, but I think this would be the one thing that would stop me in my tracks and make me crumple to the floor in a heap. I don't know that I'd be able to get back up again.
People ask why did this happen? I don't have an answer and it really bothers me when "good Christians" tell the grieving parent, "It was God's will" or "God needed him more than us." That's crap. I'm sorry, but you are not God. You don't know what God's will is or why this child was taken. So don't pretend like you do. All you are doing is upsetting the parent. Be honest, you don't know. I don't know. Nobody knows. All we can do is comfort them. Sometimes that means holding them while they sob in our arms, listen to them as they scream at God, sometimes it just means sitting quietly, holding their hand.
I am holding this family in my prayers, not just for now, but for the weeks and months and years to come as the reality of what has happened truly hits them, when after the chaos of what has happened and the arrangements that will have to be made are over, when the lines of people coming to visit dwindles down to just a few close friends calling to check in on them, that's when they will need even more prayers and love.
I don't really know where this is going. I guess I don't really have a point to this post today, other than to vent my feelings, frustrations and fears. May God's peace surround the family and friends of this young man and may His love envelop them and ease their pain. Amen.
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