Philippians 4:13 – “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” I have a tattoo of this on my back, between my shoulder blades, from when I went through my divorce. It’s a picture of a child’s hand reaching up to an adult’s hand. It has many meanings to me… one is my children looking to me for guidance in such a tumultuous time in their lives. The other, more powerful for me at the time and many times since, is me reaching out to God for help.
Over the past couple of weeks, actually since the week leading into Easter, I have been feeling down and out. My life seems to be crumbling around me and my faith is weak on a good day. I don’t know what happened to trigger these feelings of despair and discouragement, but they have been alive and strong and during this past week have been gaining momentum in my life. Thank goodness I have some very powerful spiritual friends to help me through this and pray me through this. Two of my dearest friends are spiritual beacons in my life. When I’m having a tough time, I know I can go to them for guidance and uplift. They will remind me of Jesus’ love for me and how he shed His blood to save us.
My friend talked to me several times yesterday and told me it sounds like the devil has a grip on my life and nothing is going to get better until I allow God back in and push the devil out. That would seem easy, right? Nobody wants to wallow in misery and watch their life fall apart around them, but it’s not that easy. Because with misery comes the feeling of defeat and doubt and fear that it’s not going to get better and maybe I can’t dig myself out of this hole I’m in. You know what? You’re right. You can’t. But God can help you. He can give you the strength to stand back up and help you put the pieces of your life back together because you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
I had a dream last night of tornadoes, at least 5 that I can remember, showing up in the mountains and fields near where I live. I was in the car with my 2 boys and one of my best friends, whom I say has a “bat phone to God”. There was no way to avoid them or run away from them, and so we hit the gas praying for God to protect us the whole way. I had my eyes closed as we drove past 2 twisters about to cross the road and all I felt was the car being lifted and crying out for God to protect us all. I woke up with a start and realized that was how my life felt – until that moment.
I am not a quitter. Over the past 20 years or so I have slowly gained the strength and belief that I can accomplish anything I put my mind to. In the last 18 years, I’ve found that Christ gives me the strength as long as I rely on Him and follow in his footsteps. I do falter sometimes, but never give up. I have moments when I’ve been so far down that I wasn’t sure I’d get back up. The events leading to my divorce made me feel that way and not only affected me but my children as well. Again, God placed angels in my life not only to help me but to help my children as well.
I am not going to allow the devil to come into my life and bring negativity and doubt and disbelief into my home. I’ve had enough of him and I want him out. So I told him that this morning. Sound crazy? Yes, it does, but sometimes it’s what you have to do in order to get him to move on and leave you alone.
I listened to Joyce Meyer this morning on the radio. She was talking about believing you are righteous in God’s sight and believing it. She said tell yourself every morning that you are righteous and deserving of God’s love. Tell yourself, God I know you love me and I know you have a plan for me. Here I am Lord. So I did that and can I tell you, what a difference that made. Just saying those few words this morning, and truly believing them, lifted a weight off my shoulders. I still have the same struggles, but I have faith that God will see me through them. He will help me find a way to persevere and conquer any obstacles that come in my way. I am a child of God and I am loved, no matter what the outside world may do or say.
What about you? Do any of you have any stories of triumph you’d like to share?
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